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:iconrappunzell14:
I want to start off by saying this: I love it!! I only gave you 3.5 on Tech because there isn't much to go on, but what I can see looks excellent. In a later part of the story, you may want to expand more about the father in order to see the comparison/contrast between father and son, just an idea. As far as how to improve this, watch the grammar, make the chapter a bit longer, and try to use separators for time changes. The separators will make it easier on the readers if there is a time change. However, if you don't want to use those, then you'll need to describe the transaction between the birth and her suicide. I had to go back and reread that part because I got confused. Overall, you have a good idea already; you just need to show it!
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